I just looked at my website’s statistics for September. The number one search item that brought people to my site was one word in the title of my short story “Tiffany Gets Her Boobs.”
Guess which one.
I don’t think I got many bookmarks from that crowd.
“Tiffany Gets Her Boobs” now ranks 13th on the Kindle Free Download bestseller list in the Humor category!
(That’s after only about a week of its price being dropped to free.)
Written under the pen name David Bawdy, “Tiffany” is a fun, short story prequel to Bubba Goes for Broke and has been very well received (including mention in Kris Rusch’s Recommended Reading list).
If I want to stretch the truth, I can now refer to myself as “Bestselling author David Hendrickson.”
I kinda like the sound of that. And who better to stretch the truth than a fiction writer? I am, after all, paid to lie. It’s a job requirement!
Posted in Current News, David Bawdy, E-books and stories, Free Fiction, Having Fun, Humor
Tagged bestseller, boobs, Bubba Goes for Broke, comedy, Free Fiction, humor, Kindle
Here’s how you can tell someone else (in my case, my wife) has always been getting to the movie theatre first and buying the tickets: it’s finally you in line and you hand the guy a twenty for two tickets and can’t understand why he’s looking at you for more.
I got a customer service email from Amazon this morning with the letter “o” missing from “Hello.” Yup, that’s my Monday morning. How did they know?
Posted in Having Fun
There’s something wrong about a magazine having its Table of Contents on page 38 and what’s more, it not being a complete table but rather one that just lists the feature stories. If you want a listing of the columns — and yes, it was a column I was looking for in Vanity Fair — you have to flip to page 64.
I mean, I get it. The whole idea is for me to flip through 37 pages of advertisements in search of Table of Contents, Part I, and then flip through more pictures of blue-eyed women and guys looking like I never have nor never will look like to get to Table of Contents, Part II.
But here’s the thing. I’m not going to shop at Hugo Boss or Ralph Lauren or Bloomingdale’s just because I flipped, annoyed, past their advertisements. I won’t start using Clinique spot remover or wearing Guess apparel, not even that fishnet-and-garters thingie on page 22.
I was wondering if Vanity Fair might not do those of us without a shopping gene in our bodies a favor by granting us a special edition that has the Table of Contents right on pages one and two.
Then I took a closer look at the cover and saw that Vanity Fair is already providing a special edition that goes even one better. If you look really closely (and squint a bit if you’ve got eyes like mine), you can see the page number in very fine print of every article showcased on the cover.
So to Vanity Fair, I salute you and say in the immortal words of Emily Litella, “Never mind.”
According to a friend on Facebook (I’m too lazy to look it up), 73 percent of people polled by Newsweek thought the question, “Do you believe in miracles,” was a good question for a first date.
My thought is that it’s a matter of context. It all depends on whether it’s a reference to religion, the 1980 Olympic hockey team, or whether they’ve got a shot at getting lucky.
I woke up at 2:59 this morning to a loud crash. I thought sure someone was in the house but my search (wielding, of course, a fearsome steak knife) turned up nothing.
Some detective work after I got up concluded that it must have been snow avalanching off the back roof onto the bulkhead. But I can’t really tell because you can only see that part of the roof from the backyard and I’m not willing to trudge through snow that deep to find out for sure.
The alternate theory is that the crash in the night is connected to me reading Stephen King’s Full Dark, No Stars right now. The supporting evidence? The snow on the roof at the front of the house hasn’t moved an inch and remains about two or three feet high.